The Charmed Ones Do Vegas
by alexywill22
Summary: The title says it all, doesn't it? read and review!


A/N: I so wanted to this for so long... So here it is... Hope you like! Review or die!

Tittle: The Charmed Ones Do Vegas!

Disclaimer: I don't own Charmed... but I do own Buffy and Angel, and Smallville, and Dead Like me... oh wait, I don't... Oh well.

The demon managed to shimmer in the parking lot of the Casino, believing he was safe, but his hope quickly vanished as the black SUV sped in and stopped in front of him. Out of the car came out Piper, who looked great for being the mother of two, with her long hair flowing gracefully in the wind. Following Piper was Phoebe, who was sporting pink fluffy boots and what appeared to be a handkerchief... oh my bad! It's a mini-skirt. And the last out was Paige, who carried an umbrella to keep her safe from the sun's deadly rays. There they were. The Young? Kick Ass Charmed Ones.

The demon made a run for it but Piper quickly froze his ass. No, seriously. She literally froze his ass. You try to run with your ass frozen in time. "Now Phoebe!" Piper shouted. And Phoebe began to do those martial arts moves, that Piper can totally do much better, but at least gives Phoebe something to do.

Phoebe gave one final kick until the demon dropped to the ground. "Now!" Phoebe squealed.

"On it!" Paige's turn. She quickly looked for the most expensive car she could find in the lot. She finally found a classic 1965 Cadillac in mint condition. "Expansive car!" She called for the car and orbed it on top of the demon. "Now Piper!"

Piper lifted up her hands and... BOOM! ... The demon was no more. Sure, like 3 more cars got destroyed in the process, and yes there were people that got severely injured, including one death, but hey, the Charmed ones never looked more kick ass!

"We drove all the way to Nevada for this?" Prue said as she got out of the car. Cole, Leo and Darryl did the same. "I didn't even get to kick some ass!"

"Next time, Prue, next time." Piper assured her supposed-to-be-dead-but-somehow-still-around-even-though-no-one-wants-her-around sister.

"Well, I say since we are in Vegas, we should do something crazy!" Oh no. Cole had one of his weird get-back-into-Phoebe's pants-plan. "Phoebe, let's get married... Again..."

"YES! YES! I will marry you Cole!" Phoebe jumped up and down like the little girl she though she was.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Piper tried to restored the sanity, "no one's getting married!" But it was too late. The couple had shimmered away. "Crap!"

"Now what are we going top do?" Paige asked.

"We have no choice," Piper shrugged, "we must checked in a very expensive VPI pent house suite and gamble."

Everyone nodded approvingly. Within minutes they had checked in. They all decided to split up into two groups. Group A, that was form by Piper, Paige, Leo and Darryl, would go and have a fun time at the Casino and other Vegas attractions, while group B, form by Prue, would be in charge of finding Cole and Phoebe.

"Why do I feel I've just been screwed?"

"Don't be silly Prue." Piper consoled. "Like someone would actually go to bed with you."

"Piper? Honey? Baby? Sweetie?"

"What, Leo?"

"You know, while the others are off gambling... We could... you know."

Piper was confused. "Know what?"

"You know..." The ex-human, ex-Whitelighter, ex-Elder, ex-Avatar gave her a look.

"Oh! Oh. No. I'm not going to waste my trip to Vegas having sex with that little poor excuse for a penis." Piper had either forgotten that Prue, Paige and Darryl were standing around there, or she obviously didn't mind humiliating her husband a bit.

Leo ran crying to bathroom. The rest headed out.

Meanwhile, at some cheesy Las Vegas Elvis wedding chapel, Phoebe was about to make the biggest mistake of her life... again. "Do you take this man, who is obviously a demon, that has not only tried to killed you on countless times, but also tricked you into marrying him as the Source of all evil and turned you into an Evil hell queen, and after that he wouldn't give you a divorce and even tried to tricked you into falling for him once more, as your lawfully wedded husband?"

"Yes I-"

"Stop right there!" Prue astral-projected in. "You're not marrying mah man!"

"Say what?" Whoa oh. The Halliwells got ghetto. This only means one thing. Cat fight. "Your man! Like he do yo ass!"

"What's that? Oh no you di-int, biatch." Prue punched Phoebe hard.

"You wan some a this? I'll cut you, ho!" Phoebe levitated-high kicked Prue. The both started to pummel each other, in what can only be describe as the funniest bitch slap match in the world.

Back at the Casino, Darryl was harassing and old lady. "Just one coin, ma'am. I'm good for it!" He pleaded the nice old lady but only got a kick in the groin.

Paige saw this, as she was approaching. "Darryl, what did you say to that old lady?"

"I just asked for one of her coins... I'm so screwed... I lost 50 grand at the crabs' table.

"You WHAT? Darryl, you have a family! What is your wife, who curiously has not been seen all year, going to say?"

"Give me 100. I'll pay you back, I swear."

"You're a cop! How can you be this insane to just loose so much cash?"

Darryl shook Paige violently, "Are you giving me the money or not?"

"Hell no!"

"Bitch!" Darryl said as he went to sell his body for money. Leo quickly walked over after Darryl left.

"Paige, I want you to be honest with me."

"O... k."

"Do I look gay?" Leo was wearing showgirl costume. God knows where he got that from.

"Um... no?"

"See?" Barbas said as hewalked over to them. "You don't look gay. Now let's go to my room, Leo."

"Ok. Are you sure Celine Dion is going to be there?"

"Yes, all the demons will."

"Yay" Leo squealed as he and Barbas left Paige.

"An I the only normal one in this family?" Paige asked a statue of a Roman warrior. "Oh, fine don't answer me." She gave the statue the finger and left for the Sigfried and Roy show.

At the suite, Piper was getting service... with a massage, you sick perverted freaks. "Hmm, this feels good... definitely better than having sex with my husband's extremely small penis... I still can believe he thinks the boys are his."

"They're not?" The masseuse asked curious.

"Oh no. I mean I was glad that the kids could orb, or else he would found out he's not their father."

"You slept with another Whitelighter?"

Obviously not worried at all about how he seemed to know about Whitelighters, Piper answered, "Oh, no. They're all pretty sissy. Is a miracle to actually get one to actually perform when the time comes, if you know what I mean. The babies are from different fathers anyway."

"So how can they orb?"

"There's a perfectly logical explanation for that. You see-"But Piper's explanation, and it was good one, I swear, was cut short when Prue burst in the room.

"Piper! I'm so fucked!"

"What the hell?" Piper got off the massage bed. "Did you not read the not disturb sign on the door?"

"Piper! The cops are going to be here soon, we have to go!"

"Want to run that by me again?"

"You see, I went to look for Phoebe and Cole, and I actually managed to stop the wedding. But then, Phoebe decided to audition at a strip joint, and me and Cole went in the back with some guys and strippers, long story short we dump the body at the desert and we stole a car!"

Piper's anger was obvious as most of the stuff in the room started to blow up. "This is the reason I don't have friends and I can't go out the house with you people!" Piper hastily put her clothes on. "Let's get the others... wait! Where are Phoebe and Cole?"

"Cole's was kind shot... he's alive, but he's in jail... And I lost track of Phoebe."

"Can this possibly be any worse?"

Paige orbed in. "I'm so fucked!"

"Why do I even bother?"

"What did you do Paige?" Prue asked her replace-I mean, haft sister.

"I might have 'accidentally' sold Darryl to a rich millionaire."

"What do you mean?" Piper asked.

"Well, thidguy said he would pay me a million dollars to sleep with my wife. I told him I don't have one, so he settled for Darryl."

"Wait!" A light turned in Prue's head. "We can used that money to bail Cole!"

So the three sisters split again. Paige and Prue went down to the police station to free Cole. They use Paige's glamour power so Prue wouldn't get caught. Piper headed to the car. They all reunited at the parking lot. "Is everyone here?" Piper asked.

"Here!" Darryl said.

"Here!" Cole said.

"Here!" Paige said.

"Here!" Prue said.

"That's everyone, I guess." Piper shrugged.

"PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR!" The implants and Phoebe were running towards the car being followed by what appeared to be the whole Las Vegas police department.

"Everyone in the car!" Piper commanded, and everyone did. The soccer mom car left at top speed. But a whole fleet of police cars were behind them. To make matters worst, they were driving to a cliff! "WHAT?" Piper panicked.

"Don't worry, Piper," Prue grabbed Piper's hand. "We're in this together." The car went off the cliff...

"Fuck this!" Piper let go of Prue's hand. "Paige orb us out!" Paige did so. Unfortunately, Prue did not whole on to anyone so she got stuck on the car, that went down the cliff, probably killing her... again.

Two weeks later, the whole gang, Piper, Paige, Phoebe, Cole, Darryl and the Elf nanny all sat watching movies. "We should go on a trip more often." Paige suggested.

"There's one thing that bugs me though." Cole started.

"Don't worry, the doctor said the infection would only last one more week." Phoebe explained.

"No, not that. What happened to Leo?"

"Huh?" Piper realized that all eyes were on her. "Hell if I care. Popcorn?"

End.


End file.
